"...they are afraid, not lest women should be unwilling to marry, for I do not think that anyone in reality has that apprehension; but lest they should insist that marriage should be on equal conditions; lest all women of spirit and capacity should prefer doing almost anything else, not in their own eyes degrading, rather than marry, when marrying is giving themselves to a master, and a master too of all their earthly possessions" (95, The Subjection of Women).
I can see some of that idea of marriage reflected in other literature of the time (My Brilliant Career being a prime example). I feel like Mill's interpretation of the underlying fear is fairly accurate. Men had their own expectations from society that they needed to live up to in order to earn respect and self worth. And one of those ideals was power. If they are not in charge at home how are they supposed to be in power elsewhere? So in a way the social expectations that are related to men affect the social regulations that are applied to women. The ideals for both genders are intertwined, each pushing the other to fulfill their roles.
The fact that Mills mentions that marriage is "degrading" seems contrary to what Victorians actually thought at the time. Marriage was the goal for many women, particularly those without wealth. Otherwise they were left without a way to earn a living. But since Mills was discussing that the reasoning for not allowing women to work in good jobs was because men wanted to maintain the marriage inequality it makes sense. But it seems likely that there is the additional motive of keeping power in the workplace as well. The less competition in the workplace the more power the men can have, thus fulfilling some of their roles as men. To change any of the ideas about marriage and gender they would need to change on both sides of the line. Men and women would need to rethink their expectations.
Mills, John Stuart. “On the Subjection of Women”. The Broadview Anthology of British Literature : The Victorian Era. Ed. Don Lepan. Toronto: Broadview Press, 2009. 85 − 95. Print.
"Each pushing each other to fulfill their roles." Men and women kept perpetuating gender stereotypes because they refused to think outside the box. Men wanted to control the workplace in order to maintain power, and there wasn't much women could do about it--society had entrenched them into the home.
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